The Lord is not in a hurry. As 2 Peter 3:8 says, But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.
Most of the Lord’s work in our lives is slow & careful, so we need not be afraid. Last Sunday, Mandy Tinsman reminded us of that & testified to God’s continued, steady work in her life. Read along & be encouraged!
Several weeks ago, I felt the Lord urging me to share my testimony. This request was overwhelming because articulating thoughts is one of my greatest weaknesses. However, as the Lord continued to nudge me, memory after memory of God’s faithfulness flooded my mind daily, and I began writing them down. In less than a week, Walt asked me to share my testimony. This request confirmed it was time, so I prayerfully began piecing together my spiritual journey of God’s faithfulness in my life.
As a 3rd generation Christian, I felt the Lord calling me to Him during a weekly revival at my home church when I was 7. Nothing extravagant happened that night, but my heart longed to do what I had been taught about, and I asked Jesus into my heart. Later at 10 years old, I told my best friend that I did not want to live for God anymore but would return to Him after my teen years. I was afraid I would miss out on all the fun if I lived God’s way. She begged me not to walk away from God and left me alone. As I sat there contemplating, I felt led to pray. While praying, I saw 2 backs. One was smooth as a baby’s and the other had scabs all over it. The scabs gradually went away, but left scars. It seemed like the Lord was showing me two different paths. If I followed my own desires, he would still love and forgive me, but sin would scar my life long past my teen years. On the other hand, I could follow Him and be spared much heartache. In that moment, I prayed and committed to follow Him. I have never regretted that decision!
Salvation as a child did not seem to change me much from the outside, but God was at work on the inside. My mom taught me many things that greatly impacted my life. She helped me memorize Scripture. She helped me to stay pure for marriage. At the age of 12, I began praying for God to keep my future husband pure as well as purposing in my heart that I too would remain pure. God honored that prayer and protected us both.
Later in my mid teen years, I began struggling with whether I was truly saved. I had good seasons of living out God’s commands, but then there were times that I was not faithful and felt distant from Him. One afternoon, I asked God if I really was saved. I sensed the Lord saying to me, “Did you ever purpose in your heart to leave me?” I searched my heart and said, no. He assured me that he hadn’t left, and my struggle ended.
God continued to mold me as I gained a deeper understanding of Him. All my life I grew up believing that our church group were the only people going to Heaven, and I am sure I was self-righteous without knowing it. Eating lunch one day at work, I realized that I saw Christ’s attributes in my co-workers and wrestled with how could they not be followers of Christ? Immediately John 13:35 came to my mind: By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. The Lord showed me then that He had followers outside of our fellowship of churches. This was a powerful revelation for me.
Not only has the Lord been faithful to guide me over the years, but He has walked with me through many difficulties along this journey. Once, when Marissa was only 19 months old, she drowned in our pool. While performing CPR on her and screaming for help, of which there was none, I felt a voice say to me: “run.” I scooped up her lifeless body and ran to where I “just so happened” to have my cellphone charging to call 911. She regained consciousness during this time but continued going in and out and was care flighted to Knoxville. On our drive to the hospital, the story of Abraham came to my mind and I had this surreal peace come over me that no matter the outcome, God was good, God’s ways were higher than my ways and His thoughts higher than mine. By God’s mercies, she sits with us here today.
So as I’ve grown in my understanding of who God is, it’s as if I am a never-ending stack of paper that He removes one layer at a time revealing my insufficiencies and deepens my dependence on Him.
I have come to see the gospel as the good news at any age and in every season. He can take us from checking off a to do list of reading scripture, trying to be a good moral person, going to church and thinking that somehow we are going to get our life worked out to a personal living dynamic relationship with a loving Father, the King of Kings through his son Jesus.
I hope hearing my story has encouraged you to trust the Lord with all your heart for He came not just to forgive us, but that we may have life, and to have it abundantly.